LIFE LESSONS
During my time abroad I learned life lessons from the most unexpected sources. During my down time (staring out the window on a long train commute, minutes before crashing into a deep slumber after a long day, relaxing on a beach at sunset, watching the horizon turn into glorious shades of oranges and pinks) I would scribble down notes from the day. This list would ultimately culminate into the life lessons I learned.
LIFE LESSON ONE: PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE
This is by far the most impactful thing I've ever learned, maybe in my life. No matter where you go, "people are people". It's a deceptively simple statement that somehow captures the essence of every person in the world. While exact triggers of emotions might differ from person to person, pain still hurts the same way no matter who you are. We're happy, we're mad, we're jealous, we're sad: not one person is immune to these emotions.
Prior to departing on this long journey, my friends and family were extraordinarily concerned about my well-being. My parents constantly harangued me about the perils that lie on the roads ahead. I'm not going to lie, I was kind of freaked myself. But I had maintained a cool demeanor, at which my response to everyone's concerns was to say "Naw, it'll be okay." But would it? For some deranged reason the day before leaving, I decided to look up every crime committed in Lima, Peru to mentally prepare for any shortcomings. What. A. Dumb. Idea. Confidence deteriorating, I turned into a hysterical mess telling my family that I wanted to cancel the whole thing. Convinced I would be kidnapped by an angry gang abroad, I wanted to stay in the comfort of my home, in my warm and familiar bed. But just like that, my parents did the most beautiful thing they could have ever done. Our roles completely reversed and they were the ones telling me it would be okay, assuring me I was doing the right thing and for the first time, commending me for my bravery. That night before my first flight to Peru, my mom offered these pearls of wisdom:
"The energy you put out into the world is the energy you'll get back."
And that was it. Tension suddenly dissipated and I was now armed with all the knowledge I needed in any unfamiliar place.
Being out on the road as a solo female is no joke. There are definitely extra precautions we need to take compared to our male counterparts. But the world isn't a scary place out to get you. On the contrary, it's an incredibly beautiful place populated with people who emanate warmth and compassion. Which brings me to my next point.
LIFE LESSON TWO: DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN
The general sentiment echoed across my family and friends was that I was extremely brave for going on this journey alone. And while I appreciate the compliment, a part of me wonders if people feel that way because they've never tried it on their own. This one is a simple lesson I learned and I will relay it simply: If you want to do something, don't let fear of the unknown hold you back. You are missing what the world is ready to give you.
LIFE LESSON THREE: YOU WILL NOT DIE OF BOREDOM TRAVELING ALONE,
I PROMISE
I was deeply worried that I would get lonely within the first month of traveling and land up back at home with a failed attempt to travel the world. Going alone meant I had no one to watch my bags at the airport while I used the restroom. Going alone meant I had no one to confide in a non-English speaking country. Going alone meant so many things, but above all else, it meant that I was literally traveling without anyone who cared about me. I thought I'd have no allies on my side. I thought no one would fight for me when I was too tired to fight for myself.
What I discovered on the road completely shattered those notions of loneliness and opened me up to a world of unfathomable beauty. As soon as I landed in Lima my first host, Sandra, invited me out on the town. In the Galapagos, the same thing happened. I ended up becoming friends with the group of travelers visiting the hotel owner. And it kept happening over and over again. Of course, there were nights where I felt really lonely and the only thing to keep me company was Harry Potter. Of course, I had many days where I ate all my meals by myself. But I was never alone, even in those times. The thing is, it's hard to actually be lonely when you're surrounded by 7 billion people roaming the planet. Wherever I turned, there was always a fellow traveler or local who was eager to talk and build a new relationship. I met so many incredible people and I think a huge part of that was being alone. If I was traveling with someone, I wouldn't have been as motivated to put myself out there and meet as many new people because I was within my comfort zone. But I am so thankful I went on this journey alone as it taught me so much about myself and my ability to make friends all over the world.
LIFE LESSON FOUR: DON'T HOARD POSSESSIONS, HOARD EXPERIENCES
You learn a lot living out of an 80 L backpack and a small daypack for months on end. After leaving my job, I had one week to prepare my departure, square away the details, and shove all my essential possessions into a confined space that I'd lug around my back from place to place. Not only that, but I had to be prepared for any climate. Packing took a number of tries. I'd pack what I thought were must-haves, then walk around the house for 10 minutes seeing if it would break my back. A number of my attempts did just that, so I had to severely limit what I brought and ensure that almost any piece could mix and match with each other.
Surviving off cotton V-necks and a variety of bottoms for 5 months definitely proved to be a challenge. But wandering the streets abroad proved another challenge altogether, forcing me to suppress my shopaholic tendencies and bypass some beautiful treasures. Often times I'd find something I loved, whether in the romantic cobbled streets of Florence or the congested flea markets of Bangkok and purchase it, only to realize later that it would not fit in my bag. Regretfully I often had to leave behind some article of clothing to fit a new purchase in.
After this happened a couple times, I finally realized that I could not possibly fit another item in my already overflowing backpack. Soon I stopped window shopping and staring longingly at things I didn't need. Weirdly enough, some burden evaporated from my mental baggage and I was thoroughly living each moment as it came, no longer looking for what I could get out of it and take home with me. The money I saved not shopping undoubtedly allowed me to have more amazing experiences and that is a treasure I will keep with me forever. Shopping is no longer my weakness; living and breathing my next adventure is.
LIFE LESSON FIVE: MONEY GOES ROUND AND ROUND
After traveling the world, I have a lot of admiration for our country. Above from giving me the opportunity to work and fund this trip, it is my home. Most of my friends and family live in America and spending time with them is just as rewarding as venturing off to a new destination.
However, what I don't agree with is our money-minded culture. We don't have a good grasp on a healthy work-life balance and therefore, derive too much pleasure from watching our bank accounts multiply. But what does that do for us at the end of the day? I'm not suggesting you should disregard your responsibilities and neglect paying bills or student loans. On the contrary, doing these things are very important. However, if you have enough money to achieve your dream, just do it now! Yes, you may lose some money in the short term, but it will always come back. Money is meant to be spent and it will continue to circulate.
Money comes and goes. Time just goes. And you'll never get it back.
LIFE LESSON SIX: ABANDON YOUR AGENDA AND JUST GET LOST
On the first day of nearly every place I visited, this was my go-to. I'd check into my hostel or Airbnb, ask a bit about the layout of the city, then just set off for hours with no agenda. In my opinion, it was the best way to familiarize myself with each place. It was personal, informal and sometimes uncomfortable to take off my "tourist hat". But it gave me a chance to blend into the local scene without any agenda (well blend in as in not stick out like a sore thumb).
What I learned from doing this is that every place in the world has its own unique rhythm. Within one country, the gestures, dress, and even jargon can differ drastically and each place has a certain thing makes it itself. When you're vacationing, it's harder to do this because you have a time constraint, but when you're traveling long-term, there's no excuse not to do this. Planning too far ahead sometimes prevents you from doing the thing you want to do in the moment. So go with the flow, enjoy the moment and have fun getting lost.
LIFE LESSON SEVEN: TREAT EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE AS EITHER A BLESSING OR A TEACHER
This one is relatively straightforward to grasp. The wonderful people in our lives are blessings and the ones that don't show themselves as blessings turn out to teach you something valuable in your life. It's not one I learned by having an epiphany after a harsh encounter with someone and realizing I was better off. No, it's one I picked up from the movie Eat, Pray, Love (and yes, I've read the book but the movie quote sums it all up perfectly).
"I've come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call "The Physics of The Quest" - a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: "If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared - most of all - to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself....then truth will not be withheld from you."
This one definitely saved me from sulking in the miseries of life after dealing with mean-spirited people. But instead of hating someone, I would try to feel sympathy for them. We all have our own unique battles to fight. Pain and suffering are universal emotions and we all feel it. Those negative encounters you have can even remind you that we're all trying to survive this tiresome journey of life. There will be many lessons in your life but you'll also have many teachers in your life to teach you them. Just embrace it and enjoy the journey.
LIFE LESSON EIGHT: THERE'S BEAUTY IN LIFE EVEN IN THE MIDST OF PAIN
Upon my departure, I was ready for a 7-8 month journey. I was invigorated and unstoppable, probably the most empowered I've ever felt. The first 5 months of my journey were beautiful and exhausting, testing every fiber of my being. Though there were some scattered obstacles, I was having an incredible time gallivanting the world.
During those late nights in the hostels passing away the hours away with fellow travelers, the inevitable topic of homesickness would come up. There was a universal notion of getting over a the "x" month block in your travels where your homesickness would kind of evaporate because your new home was the road. This amount of time would vary depending on how long the person was traveling but in my case, I hit the block face forward around my 4th month. Around that time, I was somewhere in Phuket, soaking up the warm sun rays and lounging around on the beaches. Not a shabby circumstance at all, you're thinking, and I agree. Though after somehow contracting a light flu (in 90 degree weather), I realized my enthusiasm for traveling was starting to dwindle. I was thoroughly enjoying exploring foreign lands, but my day to day visits to the extraordinary were now becoming mundane and I wasn't as excited as I should have been.
After a long conversation with my brother, I decided to come home for a month break to attend my cousin's wedding and visit my friends and family. I thought it would be the perfect way to galvanize my thirst for travel and I would come back to finish Southeast Asia, Australia and New Zealand with renewed zest. Unfortunately, fate had different plans for me. As soon as I touched down on American soil, my stomach started cramping and other digestive problems began to surface. I thought it would go away after a few days but it just became worse. After a couple of days, eating any morsel of food would leave me with debilitating cramps the rest of the day. My muscles ached, I was thoroughly fatigued and I had accepted that it was a serious issue and not one that would evaporate after a couple days of running its course.
Thus began my 4 month long healing journey. I went to doctor after doctor who performed every test they could think of but nothing was coming to fruition. At the end, I sought help from a friend practicing functional medicine and healed slowly by cutting out processed foods and eating very simply for about a month. It was an extremely stringent diet and being home with my parents helped immensely. Eventually, I was cramping less and my condition started to improve. I was beginning to feel like myself again and with that came missing being out on the road. I definitely didn't want to rush my healing process and start traveling right away, but I was going stir-crazy at home. It was a challenging time. Fresh off the road from my trip I realized that I was capable of anything I wanted to do. But the illness I faced shortly after stunted me from partaking in these quests and that feeling I worked hard to gain was slowly fading.
I stayed with my brother a couple times and he gave me incredible advice. He told me that I should think of my trip abroad of part 1 of my growth journey and that this was simply part 2 of it. He advised me to look at this time as a chance to grow and accept that all things can't be controlled in life. "Better to learn now than later," he told me. And he was absolutely right. I am currently prepping to leave for my next trip to Australia and New Zealand in a couple days and can now look back at my journey with appreciation. It was one of the most trying periods of time in my life, but I was able to conquer it just as I will with any other future challenges.
I learned a couple things from getting sick. One, you can't control everything in life and you have to learn to roll with the punches and proceed the best you can. I never planned on taking a 4-5 month break in between traveling but that's what I had to do to gain my health back. And two, patience is an incredibly valuable virtue. In order to heal, I had to slowly acclimate my body to new foods after cutting them out for a while and this process took months. What this made me realize is that we live in a day and age of instant gratification where we can type anything into Google and get an answer within seconds. But this has seasoned us to expect the same from every other facet of life and that's just not how it works. While I hope to never repeat this period of my life again, these lessons lay embedded in me along with the ones I learned while traveling abroad. Life is just a learning game after all.
LIFE LESSON NINE: JUST GO DO
I had a lot of downtime on this trip, especially during long commutes. I'd often whittle away at the hours by reading books, old and new. Among these new reads, one stood out to me in particular: Improv Wisdom: Don't Prepare, Just Show Up by Patricia Ryan Madson. Madson, currently an improv professor at Stanford, chronicles her former life as pedantic and mechanical, a "color-within-the-lines" sort of professor striving to achieve tenure at her first job at Denison University in Ohio. When she was denied the job for never following the beat of her own drum and "lacking intellectual distinction", she decided to delve into a life journey that would ultimately render her a master of improvisation: not only on the stage but in life as well.
After all, if you think about it, life is just one big improv stage. As much as we try to control our lives through planning and speculating, we are eventually thrown off course because some random variable just didn't pan out as expected. And right there, is where Madson's book shines. She delineates 13 maxims to live by to become an improv master. These include maxims such as "Say Yes", "Start Anywhere", "Be average" and, of course, my favorite "Just Show Up".
She begins the chapter with a quote by L. M. Heroux (whom I haven't the faintest idea is) and urges the reader to, "Stop talking. Start walking." She further explains:
"It’s surprising how powerful the third maxim is. How often we avoid showing up for the things we need to do in life. Procrastination, laziness, fears — it’s easy to find a reason for not going. The “just” in this maxim reminds us that showing up is already enough. Woody Allen quipped that it is “eighty percent of success.” Prerequisites such as motivation, desire, and warm, fuzzy feelings aren’t necessary. It is a con to imagine you must have these to get going. Improvisers know this. If they had to wait for inspiration or a good idea, few scenes would ever begin. Players step onto the stage because that is where things are happening. They just show up. Then the magic begins."
So whatever it is that's always been lurking in the deep crevasses of your mind, that one thing you've always wanted to do, I urge you to just go do it. Whether it takes you on a trip around the world or delving into a new career you've always been wary of doing, remember to just show up and just go do. This book and maxim specifically resonated with me because I had a million reasons not to leave my job, friends and family and venture into the unknown. But there was some compelling reason pulling me towards it. And even though I had never conquered such a huge undertaking before, I knew that once I just showed up and did it, the whole world would open up to me. And it did.